Guess who’s back, back again. Jimmy’s back! Tell a friend!
I missed the producer’s booth. It really has become my natural environment. Certainly more so than jail. Although, as prisons go, Ogasawara’s isn’t the worst. How do I know this? Let’s just say this wasn’t the first time I’ve been behind bars. It wasn’t Mayberry, either, though. However, I had the best cellmate. Hot damn, she was a fanboy’s dream come true! Too bad she spent most of her time sleeping…and in the next room…being scrutinized by doctors, security, and at least one Interpol agent. That stressed her out so much, I swear she drank three gallons of water a day. H2O is scarce where she’s from—and no, it’s not Arrakis. But iron bars are no cage for the charm of James Crane! “Lady X” and I got quite close. There was literal hand-holding many nights while she coped with the unwanted attention. Which tells you she definitely wanted attention from ol’ Jimmy! Thankfully, our really good lawyer friends got everyone off her back by blackmailing, litigating them with accusations of racism. I can personally vouch that she’s not trying to conquer anyone—she’s been conquered! Haha!
Anyway, for my first episode back, I took plenty of notes during episode 80 (The Asylum’s Monster Island) featuring that really good lawyer friend.
- I finally return, and Nate doesn’t let my ego inflate. Jerk. At least he learned he can’t do the show without me.
- Jet gets a good report from me. I’d grade him a B+ or A-.
- I filed that litigation for the season 2 finale. It was for assault.
- “Bootlegging” meant something different for me as a kid, too. I don’t want to talk about it.
- I dated a geomythologist once. She couldn’t say “kaiju” right, either.
- And people think my stories are crazy. Listen to Raymund! At least mine are true! 😛
- My lawn has mythic lore. (Well, actually I don’t have a lawn. I live in an apartment).
- I was out-of-practice at interrupting you! Give me a few episodes!
- I wish I could drink more on the job. The things I have seen and tolerated!
- You’re always sweet to me, too, Gary. We should get drinks sometime. You like Jack Daniels?
- You two were right about hypoxia: “Hypoxia is a state in which oxygen is not available in sufficient amounts at the tissue level to maintain adequate homeostasis; this can result from inadequate oxygen delivery to the tissues either due to low blood supply or low oxygen content in the blood (hypoxemia).”
- You should see the parts I preordered for my next model of drones. They’ll be lava-proof and come with lasers. I’ve nicknamed them the “Fire Rodans.”
- Nate, you have to be drunk to deal with Jessica? She already hates you!
- The things I had to do to keep Gary from destroying himself and my equipment! I’d normally correct all of you!
- I’ve contacted everyone I know at NASA, and all they say is they hate this movie and the “Cheeto rumor.”
- I need a Rantmaster about weaponized junk food in space!
- Nate should’ve taken my scotch offer. Apparently, he’s not drunk enough for this job.
- “Winter” not “Winters,” Raymund.
- Also, you forgot the direct article in KOTM.
- “Pursuant” is a great word!
- New memoir title: “My Life is a Mockbuster.”
- You said, “blockbuster,” when you meant, “mockbuster,” Nate.
- The Mouse did indeed defeat Phase 4 Films over “Frozen Land,” which returned to its original title, The Legend of Sarilla. It only took a month, and Disney got $100,000. Raise your hand if you’re surprised. I’ll wait.
- You should see the notes I trade with Raymund. We know secrets that could topple several governments.
- I have a lot of side hustles, man. Some of which I can’t discuss, because then I’d have to kill you. 😛
My note-taking definitely didn’t get rusty! But this isn’t my last blog of season three despite it being touted as the finale.
As per my contractual obligations, here are Nate’s leftover notes:
No, Nate has a coda planned; an epilogue, if you will. You see, a certain “lizard king” has a new movie out, and we would be remiss if we didn’t discuss it. That would be Godzilla Minus One (Godzilla -1). In order to, as Nate says, make it the best podcast episode on the film, he’s bringing on the infamous “gatekeeper” Jack “GMan” Hudgens. Between the three of us, your opinion will be invalidated. Then in 2024, season four, “The Monster Island World Tour,” will begin in earnest with the insane Super Infra-Man, which will feature Godzilla Novelization Project creator Daniel DiManna.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a thirsty woman to…satisfy.
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