The Monster Island Film Vault Posts

Hello, Kaiju Lovers! (If Nate can do it, so can I!) The paper with my notes on this impromptu episode on Godzilla vs. Biollante are longer than my arm. Even the calculations I made on the Gohten’s engine thrust weren’t this extensive! (Maybe…). Before we get into it, Nate referenced that I had a “new mic” but switched to my “old mic.” I was feeling nostalgic that day. When season four starts, you’ll understand what he was talking about. Anyway, let’s get into my notes.

• We really need to copyright your catchphrases, Nate. I’m hearing your friends steal them on other shows. Especially Michael and Elijah. You should talk to Raymund about suing them. 😛
• I hate time travel. Must you joke about it? Of course you must. It’s part of our shtick. PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THE GEEKY WRATH OF JIMMY!
• PTSD flashbacks are the worst. I’ve gotten better, but they still happen sometimes. I can help you, Danny Boy.
• My theory is the snake on Mondo Island was once a stick. Let me explain. So, there was this guy named Heston from Fort Wayne who chopped down and tree on Mondo Island to demand that a certain emperor let his enslaved people go. To scare the tyrant, he used his magic or divine power or alchemy or whatever to transform it into a huge snake. (I can’t vouch for the truth of this story, for once).
• The film musical of Little Shop of Horrors was released in 1986. Nate was correct.
• “Little Shop of Whores” is the Rule 34 version. (Don’t ask me how I know that).
• The Heisei era began with the ascension of Emperor Akihito January 8, 1989.
• You complain about Skull Island and Cleopatra’s Shin Ultraman blu-ray, I decry time travel. We all have our pet peeves.
• That guess for “space is warped” was right, and you know it! Admit it, Marchand!
• I know how Kevin Bacon fits into this conspiracy…but I can’t tell you without divulging dangerous secrets.
• Nate had the spelling of that Ultra Kaiju’s name right the first time: https://ultra.fandom.com/wiki/Leogon
• The current exchange rate for 3 million yen is in fact $20,572.89, Danny. #wellactually
• “Nazi-zilla,” you say?

• I looked at your notes, Nate, and it a handkerchief, not a piece of paper, those reporters found in that first draft.
• I got an e-mail from Nick during the broadcast. He was impressed that you found a new joke for his last name. Also, he’s going to find the rat-fish and bring it to the Island.
• Godzilla almost ate a cow on film, Danny, in the first draft of Godzilla (1954). You should know this.
• Deutalios don’t taste like chicken…I had some once. It was necessary for survival.
• Now Nate understands my frustration with LeMay. #factcheck
• I got an angry text from Jessica after you said that, Nate. She wants you to ACKNOWLEDGE HER!
• Nate’s brain is a tangled mess of kitchen sinks. You should see his research notes. (Oh, wait. You do. 😛 ).
• Miki and the Phoenix Force…that’s a crossover.
• Retrograde: word of the day.
• And…I got another angry text from Jessica about the glitter comment. She’s going to kill you in your sleep when you get back from the “world tour,” Nate.
• #CanWeUseThat
• The world isn’t ready for a She-Zilla. It should probably stay in fanfiction for now.
• Godzilla in Sayonara Jupiter? Nope!
• #TanakaSaidNo
• #OmorisTears
• So, you want necromancy technology? And preferably not from Dr. Dourif? I know a guy…but I don’t want to talk about it.
• I sit there and pretend to listen to Nate all the time.
• El Santo vs. Ultraman? I was in that unmade film. It was part of a legal loophole to get Ultraman into Mexico before the Chaiyo lawsuit was resolved. Sadly, El Santo died before it could be made.
• A kaiju dentist? I heard the Board has already started a job search. Let’s hope Orin Scrivello doesn’t apply. 😛
• The Markalite Lounge is starting Kaiju Karaoke next week. It was already popular at Nessie’s Brasserie. Jessica is the reigning champ. But everyone knows that because she sang on the air once.
• I’m always the only hope. Ask Nate. I’ve saved his hide how many times now?
• It was over ten years ago the blu-ray was released, Danny! 2012!
• I say, “Amen,” every time we finish a broadcast. And I’m not even religious!
• I’ll use “kiss you guys” as a new catchphrase. But does it have a comma? That’s the age-old question.
• Canceled by Kaiju Kim. My life is now complete.
• Gene Simmons Godzilla?! Yipes!
• The Super X2 is my favorite character in this film. For obvious reasons.
• I always win the debate with “I don’t want to talk about it.”
• MY MOTHER IS DEAD, YOU GUYS!
• Again, this is why I hate time travel.
• I was never in a parallel dimension! How dare you question my wild story of survival from the infamous War in Space! Even though I’ll never tell!

But it wasn’t just my notes that were extensive—look at Nate’s! This might be his personal record! To quote him, “Good Godzilla!”

It’s time I wrap this up. Nate and I will feverishly complete postproduction on the remainder of season three (“Ameri-kaiju”), which will be Jurassic Park (featuring Bex from Redeemed Otaku) and The Asylum’s Monster Island, which featured none other than the Island’s resident legal eagle, Raymunf Martin! Stay tuned!

Social media:

• Follow me on Twitter: @NasaJimmy
• Follow (the now defeated) MIBOD on Twitter: @MonsterIslaBOD
• Follow Raymund Martin (The Monster Island Legal Team) on Twitter: @MIFV_LegalTeam
• Follow Crystal Lady Jessica on Twitter: @CrystalLadyJes1
• Follow Dr. Dourif on Twitter: @DrDorif